OUR
SPACECRAFT
what to expect
By ZOR.44
Actually we don’t really have a giant spacecraft yet. We just beam around the universe on invisible (to humans) plastic discs. Our Supreme Leader modeled them after your infamous yellow RPM adapters, which we call “spindles” and also use as our logo. It took us a while to figure out what that was because we don’t have vinyl 45s on our planet. You would think we would since it’s our namesake. But hey, it works for us! Our Supreme Leader keeps boasting he is going to build us a big Voyager-style ship, so we can arrive in style. He also promised to reveal the “Secrets of the Universe.” You‘ll meet him someday. He always shows up when we least expect it....
WHAT 70’s music means to me
By Nate.48
Like my fellow bad ass aliens, I fell in love with the music of the 70’s through repeated binge-watching of the Midnight Special, gloriously beamed to our tiny planet from Earth. Thank you, Burt Sugarman! You may not think Aliens fall in love, but we do. I’m still looking for my true connection and have even considered a human match if it’s in stars. But back to the 70s when apparently life was beautiful and Top 40 was king of the airwaves or so I am led to believe. Of course, the deeper cuts are just as appealing and I am still trying to wrap my head around this Stairway to Heaven concept. I think we may have passed by the place on our way to Earth, if it’s the one with the big pearly gates!
ARRIVAL & DEPARTURE
By ZEE.43
Ok, so this is how it works. We select a specified time and location. Then, let’s say a giant light beam appears on the stage and blasts the audience, blinding you all momentarily. Badass aliens Yellow 45 appear and proceed to rock your socks off! Our song choices are performed flawlessly and with our own unique twists. The humans dance, bop and sing along to the sounds of the 1970’s. Some will faint, others will shriek with delight, many will be transported in their minds virtually to a more free wheeling, carefree existence. But be forewarned! Once you are levitating, time will not move at the rate in which you are accustomed. If you disappear into the ether through sheer exhilaration, awe and exhaustion, you will still be charged. ;)
